What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Please ensure that your law school email address is contained in the body of your message, not the subject. Student: By staying at home. A: To get to the same side. A great lawyer knows the judge. Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance? A: They went on a class trip.
A: The prostitute quits after you're dead! A: Shoot the lawyer twice. A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U. Anyone else have these stupid thoughts during long classes? Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. A: Two lawyers pulling on a penny. A: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: What's the difference between a dead prostitute and school? Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q: What the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Because she sprained her angle!! The fall session lasts for 10 weeks and play usually revives in the spring for another eight weeks.
Q: How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Q: How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? A person in our section 1L year made gunner bingo cards. Q: Name a bus you can never enter? A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit. Q: What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards? I use consistent citation, but I couldn't tell you if they were blue book compliant anymore. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? If you haven't figured it out di-hydrogen-oxide is the correct name for H2O or water.
A: Three--one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company. Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog. Cold-called when going over negligence. Q: How does a math professor propose to his fiancée? Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common? I saw a wino eating grapes. Then it dawned on me. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking a drink.
A: Because he was a paleontologist. He ate the pizza before it was cool. From the jokers over at. A: Romeostasis Q: What happened when the teacher tied everyones laces together? A: Rubber-band -- because it streches. A: Because they always end up getting expelled! Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? Two gold fish are in a tank.
Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school? Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? Q: What's the difference between God and an attorney? Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? What is 500 plus 500? Q: What's worse than pleading guilty to murder? A: One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him. Teacher: If a chicken give you meat, a pig give you bacon, what does a fat cow give you? The deaths that he was quoting were from drownings. A: It grew square roots. He found some website that would generate like 100 variations of these digital bingo cards that were fairly specific to our section. Bowlers who average below 180 points per game are given bonus points to make their scores more competitive. Q: What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer? Q: Why do lawyers wear tight ties? I went in to a pet shop.
A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate! As long as the judge can easily find what you are referencing it doesn't matter. A: Because she couldn't control her pupils? He nearly keeled over laughing. What's the difference between God and a lawyer? But the judges I worked for recently definitely had some negative comments about lawyers who didn't cite correctly. Water Teacher: What is the formula for water? About two weeks before finals during the middle of a property lecture a gunner said he was related to a party in the case while making some comment about something unrelated to anything. An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. Q: What did one math book say to the other? Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? Q: why did the teacher write on the windows? Q: What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney? After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave. Between you and me, something smells.
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? A: Pull down its genes. Notice: No transfer questions from 0Ls. Duke Law Professor Tom Metzloff pumps his fist with glee as his bowling ball crashes into the pins and scatters all 10 for his third strike of the evening. . A: Shoot him before he hits the water! Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.
The duty flowed from the seamen to the young boy! Q: What kind of school do you find on a mountain top? A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. A: Getting jail time and getting robbed--hiring an attorney to defend you. A: One-half percent of alcohol. Lab At the end of the semester, a 10th-grade chemistry teacher asked her students what was the most important thing that they learned in lab.
A: They're calling it infant-tile! I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. It would be a waste of my time and my client's money to check. Q: How did the geography student drown? Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A run on sentence walks into a bar it is thirsty. Teacher: How can we keep the school clean? Q: Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: Because he wanted it to be very clear. The mods retain their godlike powers to make flair conform to community standards with impunity. Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? He wanted to get a long little doggie.