Pray for your husband to be humbled and surrender to the Lord- his surrender to the Lord is number one for all of you. Openly discussing your hurt and fears is a more effective communication technique. I guess this long winded comment is the beginning of some sort of answer…. Only respectful, thoughtful dialog will make them understand how you feel. Members of your support system can assist you if they know what is going on.
It was late when i got home. They give you just enough kindness to make you hope things will get better than they slap you down again. After the initial shock of betrayal and surprise that he is no way near who I thought he was, conversing without intimacy, joking or a sparkle in either eye was brutal. A narcissistic husband can be vain, insensitive to your needs, violent, and exceptionally critical of you. For starters, remember that you always have a choice as there are different life paths that lay in front of you. Selfishness is a normal human behavior and we are all guilty of it sometimes. My husband and I have been together for 6 years, I ended up just shutting down and have been miserable for the past year and a half because all I wanted was my husband to pay attention to me, but his sister and even the dog got all of his attention and I felt invisible.
They are driven by a moment-to-moment monitoring of their worth. I used to blame myself, because I felt, I wanted to be loved so badly I would accept any kind of treatment. I have told him off for this and shamed him infront of the oeople he is upsetting and now it seems he is getting the hint. It is good to be laid back, but there is a fine line between being laid back and being lazy. He wants me to look like a failure and continues to make me look bad every chance he can.
Do others write to thank you or let you know whether your advice worked? Husbands are glad to help then ,and do because you asked. However, you can learn more effective ways to deal with your husband. He saw that i had done it, and totally trashed me to the point, that i got in my car for the day, turned off my phone, and went to the beach, than a movie. Everyone close to him can see it and are affected by it. While one said how her husband had stopped giving her attention in the bed; the other said how he refuses to any household chores.
I kept on thinking what might be the causes. I was expected to care for my own children, although he did pay for the home and insurance. He continues on the same road unable and unwilling to believe God for something better because this swamp is familiar and he is afraid to let go of it. More than likely, the narcissist will be emotional, so you want to present a collected persona. His needs had to be met first.
It is so much more common than people realize. He has all the traits of a Narc and more. There are countless programs out there. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is often harshly criticized by the general public, to the point where people with the disorder are treated like villains, rather than human beings. However, when they are talking you, you find it hard to look at them, so you look away, out of the window, etc. When we first met, he talked about how screwed up his ex was while they were married and how now that he's single, he can pay the bills and how important his credit is to him; basically everything I was looking for in a man. The Psychological View of Marriage and Selfishness The newer, prevailing cultural view of marriage differs radically from the traditional, Catholic understanding of the sacrament of marriage and contributes to the growth of selfishness in spouses and of marital conflicts.
Those married to a chronically self-centered spouse begin to feel crazy for just this reason. I asked who she was he said a co-worker. I always find myself having to give in or he turns it into a huge problem and makes my life a living hell. You make what they enjoy boring or miserable and you make fun of whatever they like. . At times I even wondered if I was flawed because I did not receive the love I needed, and craved. One of them is that it is hard for one to see his own selfishness.
In order to realize you don't deserve to be treated this way, you need to reconnect with your value. This after 15 years of marriage and a first wife that had many of the same destructive tendencies. Did you keep an eye on his supply? I had my own home I own, car paid off, money in savings. This is a shot across the bow, so to speak. Self caring means that you have concern for others, but not at the expense of yourself. At least it is not going to last very long if you value your own needs and aspirations.